A Hospice Wedding Can be a Beautiful Thing...after our Homework is Done

A hospice wedding can be a beautiful thing.
It is not common to be asked to perform a ceremony in hospice, but when a chaplain is there are many things to address before you say yes. I performed a wedding last week and it was amazing but only after I had done my homework.

First the your IDG (IDT) team must be consulted...
Hospice runs on our interdisciplinary teams. Each of us have a point of view and we need them all here. Your medical social worker (MSW) might have insight as to what the underlying psycho-social situation is.  Money and inheritance issues can complicate the simple loving decision to want be married.  Doctor, MSW, Case Manager (CM), and aides may have deeper (and different) insights into the possible complications and motivations which may or may not be achieved by a wedding.

Review your hospice's policy and procedures
Ask your administrator to sign off on the wedding. Do they have any concerns or written policies which they can offer as guidance?  This can be tricky ground, but better for those who have tread it before you.

Find out more about what the bride and grooms want or need.
What are their expectations about ...the surviving spouses needs.  If it is social security they are out of luck.  It takes a year or year and a half before widow's or widower's benefits may be bestowed.  If the spouse dies before that time period, the surviving spouse does not receive benefits.

Why now? The question's answer is not always obvious.

Logistics: Can both parties actually ambulate... for the license?
The good news here, (and not well known) is that most county registrars who deal with marriage have a process where a sick bride or groom may not attend to the license. 

The ceremony can come to them but there is a bit of paperwork to do to get them there. In addition to all the usual marriage license paperwork and information, you will need:

1.  Affidavit of Inability to Appear and Request for Issuance of a Marriage License which is usually notarized.
2. The hospice medical director (aka doctor) letter affirming that patient is unable to appear due to infirmity on hospice stationary.
3. Whatever else your County decides it wants. Hence the research needed to be done by your team.
   
   

And it could just be love...

A wedding ceremony in hospice can be a beautiful moment...
It can be a place to say I love you, to resolve important issues, to say a good bye and to have comfort from pain while you do.

Statistically people live longer in hospice with a terminal illness and with a better quality of life. And sometimes they live long enough to get hitched.   Amen.